Posted on August 30, 2010 - by Venik
Global Moron Alert
Here’s my scientific study* on the density of morons in various almost randomly-selected countries. We deal with morons on a daily basis. Some of us would swear we are surrounded by morons. But how many morons are there? I decided to try to answer this question and arrived at some unexpected results.
Wikipedia defines “moron” as:
“a controversial term once used in psychology to denote a category of mental retardation.”
The Urban Dictionary, on the other hand, describes “moron” as:
“a person whose IQ lies between 45 and 59. Slightly stupider than a retard (60-69) but still smarter than an idiot (below 45).”
My methodology: type, for example, “Canadian morons” in Google and see how many matching Web pages it finds; then look at the population of Canada and calculate the percentage of morons.
The finding were surprising: morons are very rare even in the United States (not so much in the UK). All the more amazing is their effect on the population. The chart below is the clearest explanation why we will never win the war in Afghanistan. The country has only two morons and, I bet, both of them are working for us.
However, my groundbreaking study also indicates that we can dramatically improve our chances of catching Osama simply by replacing all British troops in Afghanistan with Ukrainians. Or, better yet, we should let the Afghans sort things out on their own.
.
* For the thickheaded: joke alert!
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