Posted on March 21, 2009 - by Venik

The Jerks

The AIG bonus scandal is gaining momentum. According to the latest information, the total payout was $218 million and not $165 million, as was previously believed. Bonuses of at least $1 million each were paid to some 73 AIG executives, while four of them received bonuses in excess of $4 million. Of course, this is taxpayers’ money and the public outrage is understandable. It is very difficult for the average Joe to get into the mindset of these high-flying corporate executives, to understand why these people feel they are entitled to their bonuses even after running their company into the ground. This is a problem of perspective.

From the limited world of our drab, paycheck-to-paycheck existence we see these execs as jerks and assholes. And from their happy little cloud of multimillion-dollar personal bank accounts at best they see us as ants, or, most likely, they don’t see us at all. Most of these CEOs come from wealthy families; they drove better cars when they were in high school than most of us will be ever able to afford; one year of their college tuition cost more than your house; and just one of those silk ties they wear would cover your monthly mortgage. Shaming these characters for taking money they didn’t earn makes just about as much sense as shaming your cat for puking on the carpet.

Detroit auto execs flew to Washington in corporate jets to ask the government for a handout. Most of these guys drive around in expensive cars made by their foreign competitors. This lack of self-respect and sensitivity is not so much a result of their excessive personal wealth, as it is a product of their upbringing. After all, you don’t see Bill Gates use a Mac (hell, he won’t even let his wife use an iPod). AIG executives and their Detroit cousins come from a different and magical world. A word where bills seem to pay themselves; where bank account balances grow regardless of your spending habits; a world were you give yourself bonuses and promotions.

Here’s a little story from not so long ago. Some of you may recall the nasty scandal involving the Pentagon and the Boeing Co, which hired Darleen Druyun – a former Pentagon exec – and paid her handsomely for using her old connections to help the aerospace giant score USAF’s lucrative aerial tanker contract. To showcase its corporate responsibility Boeing executives mandated that all company employees – including Joe the janitor – take a corporate ethics training class. The head of the Boeing Helicopter division in Philly rented the First Union Center indoor arena (now the Wachovia Center), where for several hours he and a bunch of guest speakers tried to explain the murky world of corporate ethics to engineers and factory workers.

After this brainwashing excercise was finally over, thousands of employees headed to their cars and spent the next two hours in sweltering summer heat trying to leave the crowded parking lot. But not before they had the pleasure of observing their big chief’s royal departure in a rented helicopter. Since most employees of Boeing’s helicopter wing are well familiar with various rotorcraft, they had no trouble identifying the big bird over their heads as a Sikorsky helicopter. So, after a lecture on corporate ethics, the head of Boeing’s helicopter division flew away on a machine manufactured by his company’s competitor. This is how these people are wired: they are jerks by birth and it is not their fault.

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